


Let the one you hold be the one you want

by AmyJorumStitchery



Category: Actor RPF, Tim Curry - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Ficlet, First Meetings, Heavy Angst, Love at First Sight, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, but it works out well in the end, master Tim - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 20:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15494034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyJorumStitchery/pseuds/AmyJorumStitchery
Summary: I watched The Three Musketeers yesterday and as the title song rolled at the end, I knew I had to write this.





	Let the one you hold be the one you want

**Author's Note:**

> I watched The Three Musketeers yesterday and as the title song rolled at the end, I knew I had to write this.

It had been a rough couple of months, interviews, a lot of press release, meet and greets, promotion tours and general travelling all over the world. And as the energy drained slowly, he seemed to run on auto pilot.  
He didn't understand it though, since this was his whole life and what he loved to do, but he couldn't recall a time where he had felt so small and exhausted. He longed for something he couldn't put into words. He felt hollow and an ache that seemed to grow from deep inside, from the core of himself had manifested and controlled his body as well as his head.  
But he went along, cause that's what you do, right? Trying to mask his true emotions, trying to play along as best as he could and not let anyone see how joyless he had become. He never wanted to be a burden to anyone, he never wanted peoples sympathetic eyes and the pretend act that they really cared, he sighed and longed for someone to share things with, to really talk to and someone to hold when things got a little too unbearable.

And now as the end credit rolled in the dark theatre and the sappy long song played, he just closed his eyes for a moment, trying to tune out his cast members cheers and roars in excitement that the finishing product had been edited beautifully and the movie was down right awesome and that the work was done - this time, and the over all enthusiastic vibe that filled the biggest room in the buildingcomplex. The woman beside turned to him and smiled her greatest in approval, clinging to him as a way of letting him know she was his to do whatever he desired and noone had to find out.  
He didn't really know her, she was someone his publicist had set him up with as the mandatory date for the opening, cause god forbid you'd ever attend one of them alone!  
And he had gone along with it, hoping it might take some of his deepest fellings of loneliness and despair away, if only for a few hours at least.

"You were awesome!" she giggled to him as the light went on.

She caressed his arm and he literally couldn't feel anything, as the hollow gesture really said nothing, and he knew how the evening would progress. His date would accompany him to the after party to hang with the cast and crew, they would indugle themselves in a little too much champagne and make out in the queue to the ladiesroom, then he would take her to his hotelroom and spend the night fucking and regretting at the same time. And the hollowness would grow tenfolds as daybreak approached, and that aching feeling would tighten around him to the point of he actually had to cause himself to vomit just as a way of letting some anxiety go.  
Then he would appologise to her and try to explain to her shattered, still hopefull heart that he just wasn't the one for her and that he is so sorry for leading her on. They would usually leave after screaming something about betrayal and cowardness and he would sit alone in his hotelroom, not really knowing what to do with himself.  
After a cold shower, he would open the minibar and raid what was in it. Drinking to dull the agony which he of course knew was the worst thing he could do, but at the moment, feeling it was the only way he could take care of himself, the only way he know he felt something as the jaw punching taste of whiskey slid down his throat.  
If he had the day off, he would normally just seclude in his room, drinking, smoking and watching tripple X channels on the hotels unsatisfactory tiny screen.

But not tonight. Tonight he had a dinner with some PR people and a date had been set up -as they tended to do, to try and maintain the idea of a lady by one's arm looks so much classier than a middle aged guy dare eating alone. He felt nothing as he mechanically went on about his routine, showering, smoking, getting dressed, smoking again.  
A car came to pick him up at 8 pm to take him to the venue. He smiled politely to the driver as he took his place in the backseat.

"Mind if I smoke?" he asked  
"No, no, not a problem" the driver assured him "just roll down your window all the way, if the wife catches me smelling of smoke, my ass is grass" He chuckled and held up his arm to show a patch on the middle of it. "day ten now without em...'"

The car rolled up and the driver got out to open the door for him.  
And as he suspected, he was ushered in by a guy with a headset who was paid to keep the traffic of people flow smoothly and not have any cars blocking the entrance.

His agent met him inside. "I have someone I'd like you to meet" she said.

Not expecting anything out of the ordinary - a half familiar face, lots of drinks, some polite smalltalk, then depending how the evening went, either a kiss on the cheek and "This was great. Have a good evening" or a night of meaningless sex with a stranger.  
Not prepared at all for what he would see, he blinked as his heart started hammering in his chest and he felt as if his whole body and mind just dropped 15 pounds at once. It was like he had been in solitary confinement for the last 6 months and suddenly he was allowed to feel sunshine on his starved body again.  
Infront of him was the most gorgeous, radient woman he had ever seen. Not wearing a formal gown one would suspect a woman to wear to these events, but a nicely cut suit with a tie and black skinny jeans and she beamed with a light that he hadn't seen before in a person. He watched her for a second or two and the first coherent thought that came to mind was: "She gotta be a squatter" cause judging by her sweet peach shaped butt, and toned legs, how could she not? He felt his cheeks grow warm and his throat became very dry. He coughed a little and cleard his throat, hoping some clever words might come out of his mouth.  
She was a little younger, but that was totally insignificant, he felt instantly drawn to her and to the light she was emitting.

"Hi, I'm Amy" she said straightforwardly and held out her hand.

"Hi, my name is Tim" he said and smiled so honestly he found himself a little confused by his reaction. "How are you?"


End file.
